I just made this “Homeopathic Beans and Rice”:
When spicing the broth, so that you don’t kill someone, start with the amount of cayenne pepper that Dave would like to put in, then cut that in half and half again; stir or shake (for James Bond).
Non-believers: apply hot sauce as needed, e.g., Trader Joe’s Jalapeno Hot Sauce.
Based on this:
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/black-beans-and-rice/Detail.aspx
I used ~3 tsp of cumin seed. (Cumin powder is for losers.)
Oh, and put in a can of spiced, diced tomatoes and top with sour cream or tzatziki and paprika, so it doesn’t look like a pile of sh*t.